Part of It
by theMagicBehindtheMask
Summary: After a fairly harsh breakup with Starfire, will Robin find solace in another bird's arms? Err, wings?


So, this is part three of the disjointed series that is the album attack. Forget and Not Slow Down is a great album by a great band, and I suggest it to all.

Funny story. Years ago, a Yeti totally stole my idea for a TV show about teenage super heroes and a few of my songs that I wrote for my didgeridoo band. Last I heard of him, that freakin' Yeti had sold my ideas to a couple of hotshots in Hollywood and a singer. Guess who, consequently, does not own Teen Titans or any of the songs performed by Relient K? (Ahem, it's me, genius.)

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"I've been working with adhesives."

Well, there were stranger ways to start a conversation.

"I'm sorry Star, but... what?"

She continued to sit at the table and study her hands, which fiddled with the photo held between them. It was her favorite picture of our team, I knew; one that had been taken shortly after Raven's defeat of her father.

_Everyone_ in the picture was smiling.

She gave a little half-smile, and continued, "Adhesives. Chains, and locks. And ropes, with knots to tether. But nothing's taking to the pieces."

I sat down on the other side of the table and grinned. "Have you tried super glue? I've got some. What are you trying to repair, Starfire?"

"Nothing now, Robin. Not any more. I can't seem to hold it all together. But, then again, you should know." She gazed up at me sadly, and I felt my heart take a plunge to my stomach. "Because, if you did, then that explains why it all just... fell apart, does it not?"

Starfire, my girlfriend of eight months, had never been quite this cryptic. That didn't mean, of course, that I didn't know what she was saying. "Our relationship."

Before the end of my statement she was nodding. "It is... not what it once was." That sad little smile was on her face, and I wished for all the world that I could take it off, but there was nothing I could do.

"Star," I tried, but there were no words to help our situation. Maybe, had I said them sooner, they would have done something, "It's not the end of the _world..._"

"Just you and me."

I stopped short at her words, and looked at her in surprise. It wasn't like the Tameranian to just throw something potentially harming out there like that. "Star-"

"And we're a part of it." Her eyes were hard now, and I wasn't seeing Starfire _my friend_, I was seeing Starfire _the warrior._

I did a double take at her words. "Wait, we're _a part_ of it? Who caused the rest of it? What _is_ it?" She wasn't making any sense.

She only sighed and looked at me with her innocent eyes. "Everyone. Everything, I suppose.

I sighed and laid my head on my crossed arms as she continued talking.

"I know that you and Raven desire to be together," She held her hand up when I tried to speak. "And I myself have been... going on the dates with Speedy." She grew sheepish at her own words and hid her face from me when I looked up in shock.

Huh. Maybe she wasn't as innocent as we all thought she was.

"Robin, please try to understand. I never wanted to hurt you. And I was going to tell you earlier, but I was not sure how to say it. Please believe that it was never my intention to go behind your ba-"

"Starfire." I smiled and her mouth snapped shut. "It's okay. I understand. After all, if a nightmare ever does unfold, perspective is a _lovely _hand to hold." The old advise was recited with a nostalgic tint. "So we're over then."

It wasn't a question, and she did me the grace of not treating it like one.

"I would still like to be friends, if that is okay with you, Robin."

It was getting harder to think past the fuzz growing in my mind, but I managed to stand, nod emphatically, give her a _platonic_ hug, and leave the kitchen.

I needed to go for a ride.

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I'd been trying to ingest this shock, this little monster on my chest, but as the wind whistled through my ears, everything, to me, just seemed like nonsense. The sound of the angry drivers rushed past me in a garbled wave as I wove in and out of traffic on my motorcycle, trying to find an exit that led to a long country road.

I wasn't sure if I could even get it.

One particularly angry driver felt the need to yell some colorful expletives out their window when I ducked in front of them. To be honest, I hadn't even realized that they were there. Perhaps blocking out the rest of the world wasn't one of the best things to do while driving.

I finally found an exit that my GPS system promised would take me far away from Jump and took it, racing to get out of the city that I currently called 'home.'

That didn't mean I could run away from the people in the city limits, though.

Every glance at Raven that I'd stolen while Starfire was in the room replayed themselves in my head, and her excuses for her absences the past month seemed much flimsier than they had originally.

Everything that I hadn't seen or done burned their impressions onto my mind's eye, and I found that I couldn't ignore any of it. I guess it was time for me to grow a conscience.

Really. Great timing there

It took perverse pleasure in showing me everything that I'd done wrong in the past, and the things that I'll inevitably do wrong in the future. Looking back, I couldn't help but wonder; could I have done anything to combat the lapse of feeling that explains why this relationship simply... collapsed? For once in my life, I wasn't sure.

A road sign advertised the airport that was stationed in another three miles, and a very large part of me longed for Gotham. It'd been forever since I'd gone, and Alfred would have definitely loved a surprise visit...

But would Bruce?

I still wasn't sure how we were. The man was as close to a father as I had any more, but I had _left._ Would he even want me to come back and visit? I hadn't talked to him in a year and a half. I didn't even have a clue.

I decided not to risk it.

I blew past the airport with the fear of rejection and the responsibility of being a leader weighing heavily on my heart. I couldn't just up and leave my team, no matter if Bruce wanted to see me or not. I had obligations in Jump City that shouldn't have been left unattended for the few hours I'd be gone, much less for a week or two. Sighing, I flipped a U-turn, resigned to returning to my city...

And found myself staring at Raven.

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The two way radio in our helmets was silent, and for that I was infinitely grateful. Anyone else on the team would have wanted to talk, but Raven? Raven understood that there are times when silence speaks for itself.

"Robin?"

Or maybe not.

Sigh. "Yes, Raven?"

"Take a left at the next stop sign."

I was caught off-guard by her unexpected instructions, but I followed them. Sheepish at my previous assumptions, I tried to apologize, but Raven beat me to the actual vocalization of anything that _actually_ made sense.

"Robin," she said, "Just shut up and drive."

I obliged.

With her excellent instructions, we soon found ourselves pulling into the parking lot of a small park. Children were playing on the swing sets and monkey bars, and huge oak trees were scattered around the area. A pond full of ducks sat off to the left, and an ice cream truck was parked at the entrance.

I stopped the bike in the parking lot and got off, attaching myself to Raven's side as she did the same. We strolled through the grass, commenting casually on the wildlife or scenery as we passed it. We eventually made our way to the small dock on the pond and sat on the edge, dangling our feet in the water and scaring the ducks.

The silence was broken only by the sounds of the children playing on the jungle-gym and the quacking of the ducks. _I suppose Raven _does_ appreciate a good period of sile-_

"Robin."

Not this again. I opened my mouth to sigh and answer her statement, because it _was _a statement, but she continued talking before I could even form a word.

"I talked to Starfire."

Not that I wanted to anyways. Her hand shifted closer to mine and I grasped it gently. She was a bit startled, not that it showed but in the spasm of the muscles of her hands. I ran a thumb along her dainty knuckles and stayed silent. I guess she was spurred on by that silence, because she kept right on talking; a first for the dark bird.

"She told me that she broke up with you..."

Oh, dear Lord, don't say it.

"For Speedy."

_Oh, for the love of-!_

She finally stopped talking and let me gather myself enough to answer, not that I was about to make things any less awkward. I figured that if I was going to be uncomfortable, I might as well get everything out of the way at once.

"And are you okay with that?"

Her hand was instantly pulled into her lap, and she leaned as far away from me as the dock would allow. My huffed sigh was of pure frustration, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest and turned to her in mild irritation. "Y'know, sometimes I feel like the Cusack on the lawn of your heart. I've got my boombox held over my head and I'm standing outside your window, constantly trying to serenade you; it _may_ be forever 'till I go."

She wasn't stopping my reflection so I continued, not caring whether or not she understood the pop culture reference. "The only difference between me and the actor is that _I have no clue if I'm succeeding or not!"_

Her closed eyes are as close to a flinch as I've ever seen from Raven, extenuating circumstances notwithstanding, and I considered it a small victory in my favor. To win the war though, I had to bare myself to the possibility of pain, which is something that I've never necessarily done. The only way to force myself to continue was to start talking.

"So tell me. Am I succeeding?"

There was no turning back.

"Or... not?"

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For what was definitely not the first time in my life, I cursed my own hypocrisy and tendency to speak too soon.

I _really_ wanted Raven to break the silence. Soon. _Immediately_ was my personal preference.

I couldn't even finish that thought before she was speaking. "I'm... unsure at this point."

Never mind. Stay silent. The quiet is much less infuriating.

"Well decide then, Raven!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. Thinking back on my sentence I added, "But before then, you should know that I only want you to be happy. If that means that I leave you alone, fine."

"No!"

I wasn't expecting her outburst, and from the look on her face, she hadn't been either. She quickly shook herself back into a nearly- emotionless facade, but the light dusting of pink on her gray cheeks spoke of her discomfort and embarrassment.

Blushing harder, she corrected herself, "Don't leave me alone, in any case."

Cocking my head much like my namesake, I studied the petite demoness as I questioned her.

"Then what do you want me to do, Rae?"

The use of her nickname sent her clamoring back into her shell, and I grabbed her shoulder before she could submerge herself completely. "And don't go back into the land of martyrdome and give up your own happiness for someone else's. I could tear that place apart. Please, just answer me honestly."

She turned away from me and tucked her hair behind her ear, a nervous gesture that she'd picked up recently. "Well," she said slowly, "You should keep trying. Stay, that is." She turned to look me fully in the eyes. "And I swear this to you; I wish that this was not the truth. Beyond all else. But..."

I picked up her sentence, "It's something that you fell into."

She nodded. "And crawling out is hard when you're not so sure it's what you want to do."

I covered her hand with mine once more and asked, "Are you _not _convinced it's what you want to do?" She didn't answer.

Then again, if the way she held my hand was any indication, she didn't have to.

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Sunset found us laying in the grass in the park, watching the sun descend into darkness. It was quiet, the young children having gone home hours before. Raven's hand was intertwined with mine, and I _knew_ that I should have been content...

But part of me knew that I had hurt Starfire in my quest for happiness, and that made _me _hurt.

"Are you alright?"

Her soft violet eyes gazed steadily at mine and I sighed. "It's just... it's like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders, and they're giving out under the strain. It's just stress, I suppose."

"...But?"

I gave a wry smile and nodded, "_But__, _that's no excuse for how I treated Star. I guess I hurt her pretty badly."

She sat up and turned, looking questioningly at my mask. "I thought that she was the one who went behind your back with Speedy. She doesn't sound too hurt to me."

I flinched at the mention of the archer, but answered in kind. "But we're a part of it, too. I mean, had I not-"

Raven frowned. "If you're going to look at it that way, then everyone's a contributor. If we're a part of it, then everything is. Don't single our relationship out."

I threw my hands over my eyes in exasperation. "I can't help it! I don't even think I'll be able to sleep tonight I feel so horrible. And if I do, then it won't be for long. And when a nightmare finally _does_ unfold, maybe then I'll feel less guilty."

She gently moved my arm from its position over my eyes and took its place, blocking my view of the sky. "Robin, you can't just go to sleep and wait until a nightmare finally shows. This... thing, this circumstance, it's not the end of the world. Just a calamity." She tipped her head to the side in thought. "And we're a part of what's happened, as is everyone else. But we're _not _a part of Starfire's decision to cheat on you."

A frown curled my lips downwards. "Everything we did or said in the last few weeks-"

"Had nothing to do with Starfire and Speedy. Can you at least try to see it my way?" She lay down beside me and curled her hand on my chest

"Besides," she smiled, "When a nightmare finally does unfold, perspective is a lovely hand to hold."

I only chuckled and held the little eavesdropper closer as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.


End file.
